December 21st

The longest night, the shortest day. Apparently 8 hours and 49 minutes shorter than at the summer solstice. That’s basically a whole day less. A whole night more.

Is hope like the seasons? I’m not sure. Yes, the cycle of ice and sun, dying leaves and buds, lambs and fluffed up birds, is something that bears hope, always. The trustworthiness of it, the faithfulness. The land like a friend who bears hope. But I don’t know if hope itself is like that, as reliable, as sure to unfurl new leaves, as safe.

And also - today I walked through the winter landscape in Cumbria, the trees and moss and damp gravel and rust fells and expanses of wind-whipped water, land that the bears the hopes and fears of all the years.

And I made a pilgrimage with flautists in santa hats into a wet cave and listened to them ring out and sang carols with strangers, interspersed by bearing hope to a disgruntled and cold Robin, reassuring her that this wouldn’t be forever.

And interspersed amongst lyrics of empire and patriarchy and terrifying disinformation about women and childbirth, were familiar words of hope. Dawn of redeeming grace, wondrous gift is given, watch of wondering love. I was never sure if the words were ‘wandering love’. Which I may prefer.

After missing out on several carol services in the last few weeks, this one, in a church made by the land, was joyful. I walked through woods with my friend Sue, a hope-bearer if ever there was one. I got increasingly covered in mud, and raised my voice in a descant I haven’t sung for years. It was an unexpected gift, the other side of the coin. Where hope is unpredictable and un-seasonal and too rare to rely on - it must also be surprising and unexpected. As painfully unknown as Aslan appearing, as unpredictably beautiful as flutes in a cave.

[Image description: jagged and strata’d rock, greys and browns and glowing from the light of torches, forming a huge cave. A line of flautists in santa hats with music stands mid song, and watching them, assorted people in assorted waterproofs.]